A Lady named Liz

At one point in my life, I was pretty confidence. While there, I stumbled - not in the sense of abilities, but in the sense of values. 

From there on, there were many doubts.  And I tried to comprehend it through all the meanings behind those most powerful statements such as:

1.  "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what we want, it is the realization of how much we already have. We most time actually do not need that much."

2.  "The happiest of people do not necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way."
 3.  "It is true that we do not know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives."

 4.  "When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
5.  "The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can not go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."

Well, it is meaningful.  It is understood, however, it does not resolve the doubts.

As we born, we are instill with values which our family and cultures practice day in and day out.  Over time, it becomes so firmly embedded in us that we might not even know these values are there in us and affecting us in every way we make decision everyday.

My journey came to a cliff, which I could not back up and go backward.  Well, should I jump?

Three incidents happened subsequently.

At that point, I thought - a calm mind is the best for any decisions.  Thus, I halt everything in my life.  Other than eat, sleep, yoga, read and write, I practically do nothing, not even travelling for 3 months. And there I realize, I was living Statement 1.

Then, I felt that calling from Myanmar again.  This is the 3rd attempts to go Myanmar.  Well, it feels fated as it could not have came at a more appropriate time. After 3 weeks in Myanmar, I learnt one absolutely different thing - the thing about people trying to find meaning in their life, the thing about life is suffering taught through Buddhism, the thing about poverty is a suffering in life, etc; all these things that we were taught and embeded in us to form our values, it has a different face in Myanmar.

I am not saying Myanmar people is not poor, I am not saying Myanmar people is not suffering, I am not saying values we learn is wrong; all I am saying is Myanmar people is happy, positive and "trust" that their future is in good hand despite they are being put in such situation. Myanmar people gone beyong believing it; Myanmar people are trusting it and living Statement 2.

I came home, feeling Statement 3. Strange, but true that something is there for me, but I feel so stupid because I do not know how to get it.  

Faith it is. Coincidence it is, a close friend hears what I said, tells me an experience and my mind opens up, and I met Liz.  Timing it is that I was ready to open my mind, as I need the key.  And Liz, my key holder, showed me The Other Me that I have never faced for the past 38 years. Liz showed me why I have never been able to let go Statement 4.

I feel peace finally.  I am happy today and I am heading to Statement 5.

Belum Rain Forest - Perak, Dec 2009.